Eido Shimano....really?

 So I recall when Aitken Roshi's file was first made public, but hoad honestly not kept up with it as i have not been so involved in my Practice as I should have been.

 I spent a good portion of the day going through alot of the information at http://www.shimanoarchive.com/index.html

 It blew my mind really. I can understand the difficulty of others in dealing with this situation. But over 40 years? Really? Realllly!?!

 And as has been mentioned by many others before me, we're not talkin about just 1 or 2 cases where it could simply be a slanderous action on the part of the accusers. I think it's readily apparent that this ass of a... shit..don't even wanna use the term sensei..is a serial abuser.

 I cannot fathom what took so long for anyone to stand up and react. Tho a certain Kobutsu Malone gets a thumbs up in my book. As do all the teachers, including my own, who have stood up against this atrocity.

 But , my head is spinning as i try to figure out what could possibly have taken over a week to decide about this guy. To me it's simple. There should never have been a cover up. And especially now that it's all publicly exposed. I think all involved parties should have some form of punishment.

 If that means the center disappears because there is noone "sufficient" to run it. Oh welll. It makes me wonder about the students and those who have kept practicing there over the years, who possessed knowledge of this going on.

 I can't really comment on the center itself, or even Mr. Shimano and his depth of understanding. But yeah, I can see what is NOT getting practiced there.

 For me, once it became obvious that there is a real issue and not just slander and vindictiveness by some angry students, immediate action should have taken.

 Frankly, I feel he deserves legal punishment. Just like any other proven sexual offender.

Hmmm, yeah...

_/\_

Oh, I do have a blog don't I?

Sooo, I got a blog that i had apparently not remembered...like at all. Well, till the other day. And now I have found you.

So I think i'd like to talk about something many can relate to. Let's talk about 2010!!.

2010, you fucking blew and I am glad you're gone. You have been replaced by 2011 which is way cooler than you could have thought of being. Oh, and fuck your mom too.

Yep, that about covers it.

Apologies to my Teachers

Just wanted t say sorry to Grief , Sorrow, Sadness. I've been avoiding you three all week. That was rude of me. Thanks for being here.

This week succckkssss

First last Friday's wonderful event of telling my wife I want a divorce. Then yesterday's grand event of finding out a former manager of mine hung himself in his closet.

I'm about to sink into a nasty fuck hole of Oblivion I believe.

The whiskey and beer this week have been nice and plentiful. But a bad idea in the long run only pushing aside the inevitable falling into of a fuck hole of Oblivion..

Today's exclamation is Fuck Hole of Oblivion. And while I don't know what i mean by fuck Hole, i think it sounds catchy and is not related to vagina.

.........

What I Want in Life and in the Way

 Sparked by a post over at the Zendo, I realized during sitting my mind was a bit full. Clouds..no clouds..clouds..no clouds. Such is Practice.

 But during the clouds I came into some insights about myself.

 I realized , all I really want is to not suffer or to see others suffer.Sometimes it makes me an ass. But then I am choosing to go against exactly what I don't want without realizing it until later.

 In my life experiences I've realized I've been drawn to Zen practice for exactly that reason. It not only offers the promise of ending our suffering with a vow to try to end all suffering. It comes through on that promise. So I stick with it.

 Maybe it doesn't all happen on my own timetable. But that's my fault for making a timetable about such things.

 Additionally I am in harmony and the slightest bit of understanding ( or so I think anyways) with it's concepts of Truth. In my own experiences I can see how what the Way teaches is Truth.

 I can't say about gods or not gods. But it's rather irrelevant. In developing the values I hold true I am doing justice to all of them. Well all of them I would care to do justice too.

 As I love myself , I foster greater love for everything else which is also me.

 But at the same time, I think I want it all to be easy. So I allow myself to suffer with the hopes of it coinciding with my wishful thinking.  But it's not so I just have to accept that. I also have to accept that the vast majority of concepts I hold dear are completely unimportant to a great many others I see day to day.

 If I'm so big on " doing me" then I should relax more to let others " do them". After all, it's only an obstacle to what I want, or at least momentarrily think I want. And if one stops to think about it, it's really quite silly.

 Another shedding of expectations. *opens his head and purs it all out*.

Yayyy fingerpainting!!! * splash spalsh spalsh smear*

Dave _/\_

It's Zafu, It's Zafu! What A Wonderful Toy!!

 My zafu ,that I ordered Friday, came in today. What a great treat I tell ya! I can definitely tell a difference from sitting on the 3 folded up blankets that I still couldn't get to do what I wanted them to do.

 Much more balanced sitting than the chair I've been stuck in since the blankies were too low. And I kept hurting my right leg ( which never actually stopped hurting just has gotten better).

 I was much more alert while sitting in my almost but not quite burmese posture.

 So i'd like to send a shot out too my new best inanimate friend.

 I hope that didn't hurt my computer's feelings.

 Don't worry PC, we're still gangstahs fo' life. I'm just well..ya know..thinking it's time I see other inanimate objects. But we'll still hang out.

  _/\_