What I Want in Life and in the Way

 Sparked by a post over at the Zendo, I realized during sitting my mind was a bit full. Clouds..no clouds..clouds..no clouds. Such is Practice.

 But during the clouds I came into some insights about myself.

 I realized , all I really want is to not suffer or to see others suffer.Sometimes it makes me an ass. But then I am choosing to go against exactly what I don't want without realizing it until later.

 In my life experiences I've realized I've been drawn to Zen practice for exactly that reason. It not only offers the promise of ending our suffering with a vow to try to end all suffering. It comes through on that promise. So I stick with it.

 Maybe it doesn't all happen on my own timetable. But that's my fault for making a timetable about such things.

 Additionally I am in harmony and the slightest bit of understanding ( or so I think anyways) with it's concepts of Truth. In my own experiences I can see how what the Way teaches is Truth.

 I can't say about gods or not gods. But it's rather irrelevant. In developing the values I hold true I am doing justice to all of them. Well all of them I would care to do justice too.

 As I love myself , I foster greater love for everything else which is also me.

 But at the same time, I think I want it all to be easy. So I allow myself to suffer with the hopes of it coinciding with my wishful thinking.  But it's not so I just have to accept that. I also have to accept that the vast majority of concepts I hold dear are completely unimportant to a great many others I see day to day.

 If I'm so big on " doing me" then I should relax more to let others " do them". After all, it's only an obstacle to what I want, or at least momentarrily think I want. And if one stops to think about it, it's really quite silly.

 Another shedding of expectations. *opens his head and purs it all out*.

Yayyy fingerpainting!!! * splash spalsh spalsh smear*

Dave _/\_